Gold Day. Formerly A Day. Day 38.

The school day for me began at 7 am and slowly, like an overweight turtle began to descend. A descent to madness.

Another child, waiflike and helpless appealed to me to take the make up test. I let her do it and then immediately deleted it. She has no idea. I will continue to insist for the rest of the year that she never took the test. At some point I will begin to tell her there never was a test and eventually I will begin to hint she isn't even in the class at all. This is the proper way to gaslight. If you think I am writing about you I might be. Then again, we may have never met.

Period one is plotting something. They are quiet and studious and somehow they almost to a person got a perfect score on the quiz. Yes, I told them the exact questions ahead of time, but normally that means nothing and they manage to fail all the same. Not this time though. No matter how loud or annoying the music was they continued like tiny little scholastic berserkers, throwing themselves into the quiz, the sound of keyboards tapping like small battle axes.

That is of course the kids that showed up. First period was so empty it felt like I was alone in a blimp hangar. The kids that were absent will want to make up the quiz. When I think of the the malice I can conjure in the production of a makeup quiz, it brings me joy. Or something like joy as it is an emotion I have never known. I like the idea of making the new quiz worth seven points, like the old one, but only putting three questions on it and still scoring out of seven. Each question being worth one.

Period two was less absent and like first hour we played a kahoot to pass the final minutes. I replaced the kahoot music with "Brain Damage" from Pink Floyd. It seemed to somehow flow with the crazed mood the little intellectual gladiators got into when I told them that the top four scoring students would NOT lose any points on the quiz. The meaning of that sentence is anyone's to interpret.

Period three was U.S. History. They hinted that the class was "easy". The test is next class. I believe it may need a re-write. In reality the class is always easy if you know the answers. I take full credit for their success.

Period four always ends Friday with a dance party. Today was no different. The Rebecca Black raves will continue for they amuse me.

Tomorrow, Saturday extends my days without an official day off to fourteen. I have spent the last few weekends proctoring SAT's or showing up for Model UN conferences where not a single member of our team acknowledged my existence. I was there to buy them pizza. Instead I spent the money on myself. I decided that to streamline my life I would get rid of ALL of my old socks. So on Amazon Prime day I ordered thirty pairs of identical socks, so I will NEVER have to spend time looking for a matching pair ever again. Ever.

At any rate, back to tomorrow. I am chaperoning the Marine Science club for the beach clean up. I have a picture by a disturbed young artist that depicts what I believe that will look like. I am leaving it below.