Gold Day. Formerly A Day. Day 21.

Like the pain of phantom limbs, the mind creates aches and sharp discomfort even when there is no corporeal body to distress. So it was I was absent today, and yet I could feel the pain of teaching in absentia.

I was in a meeting all day and it was as pleasant as an all day meeting could be. Unless that meeting is a meeting of overly affectionate puppies, and as such this one was not. It was AICE Global teachers and we were dividing up topics of study. To any untrained eavesdroppers listening at the door the conversation surely sounded shocking.

"Hey, did you have have STD's last year?" pause: "Yes, but I don't want them this year. I'm working on decriminalizing prostitution." pause: "Really? I would have thought you would have wanted STD's because they kind of go with prostitution." pause: "OK, fine. I'll get STD's and prostitution." pause: "Hey. Are you doing prostitution? If so let me know. We'll need to sit down and talk because I'm starting global sex trafficking this year and I'm afraid it might conflict with your prostitution." pause: "OK we'll talk. I'm more afraid it will conflict with my global drug trafficking." pause: "Are you still doing that? OK, I was going to start global drug trafficking this year, but I'll let you continue since you already have experience with it."

(Note to those concerned...AICE Global Perspectives seeks to SOLVE problems. So it's worth noting that these are problems we seek to solve. So relax.) I can't believe that in today's day and age I have to even make such a disclaimer...

After returning from this very real meeting and this very real conversation, I went to a Model UN meeting, and then returned home. I was walking with my best friend and life partner Sybil, when I noticed the HOA had dyed the lake blue. Not all of it, just a small separate attached pond, and it was violently blue. It was the same color toilet water gets when you are having guests over, and you want them to think you live with blue toilet water. Whatever. It was really blue. So blue in fact that all of the ducks and geese were walking around with blue lower halves. I wanted to say from the waist down, but I honestly don't know if ducks have waists and if they do I don't know where they start.