Friendship Day

I didn't know scar tissue could tear so easily. It's as if it never really heals. When my heart is nothing but the reminder of past betrayals it will cease to beat.

I planned for the seniors. I spent the whole evening baking.

I made enough cookies for everyone! And yet everyone was only three people. And one of those left early to work in another class. I spent my morning in a vacuum where I expected laughter, noise and camaraderie. I needed a verdant forest of warm conversation. I was exiled to the Siberia of solitude.

This was period one. Had they forgotten?

I put out the cookies and the lollipops. I can't eat this all alone! I can't eat anything alone because the betrayal is bitter bile and my stomach is reacting to the pain in my spirit. Tears are the blood of the broken soul, and surely I would need to hold back the growing river of pain that threatened to burst past my dam of stoicism.

I wanted all to feel welcome! I wanted them to be safe! It is terrible enough to worry about your own loneliness. Perhaps the seniors were in danger? I had clearly marked a safe zone for them!

I ended up giving the cookies to the FBI class. I cannot think of a greater waste of food and caring than that.