Day 44. Small Irritations

Today I woke up at 4:25 am. Actually I was already awake, but I just waited for my alarm to tell me it was properly early enough to get out of bed.

I went to the gym but left my wallet at home. That was a mistake. Normally I would have it but since I knew I would probably just waste all of my money on black market Taylor Swift tickets I have been leaving it in places I won't remember at 4 in the morning.

I needed gas. Being a modern human being I figured I could stop at the gas station at 5:40 and pay with my phone. The pump reader wasn't working. The person inside was missing and all that was there was an empty store, and a giant pile of "Make America Great Again" hats. No clerk. I went outside and tried the pump again. Still broken. I went back in and someone apparated and I was able to pay for gas. Gas so I could go to work. So I could earn money so I could buy more gas. So I could keep going back to work. I guess.

I got home. I was running late, but that was fine. I could do this. My day is a finely tuned clock and a few seconds lost one moment can be regathered in another. I needed to take out the garbage. I should have done that yesterday, but I didn't want to. I went to the side of my house to get the garbage cans and realized the sprinklers that I don't control, had left a puddle more than 8 inches deep exactly where I was standing. (My HOA who is my greatest enemy, other than Sophomores and some Juniors) controls the sprinklers. I don't know how much grass they expect me to grow, but I assume they think I am growing a forest of bamboo or something, hoping it will attract panda bears. So I was soaked from the ankles down.

Something lives in my backyard. (Not Panda Bears.) Seriously. Whenever I go there and no where else I get bit by something microscopic. And I swell up. Today was no different. Also, for all of you that shave your heads, which I assume is probably less than fifty percent of you, you know that a shaved head acts like Velcro around spider webs. So now in the dark, ankle deep in water holding a garbage can I was being bitten by unseen and unknown creatures while my head was collecting spider webs.

I went inside and tried to pack lunch. I had very little to choose from. The only things I had readily available was a jar of Marmite and a package of Finnish crackers. I threw them in my lunch box and then prepared myself for work.

I was having visitors in class today so I couldn't dress like the typical unemployed landscaper I normally dress like. I found a pair of pants I hadn't seen for at least a year and a polo shirt. I don't play polo so I don't know why I have it. I threw on a pair of the only socks I could find (Reese's Peanut Butter Cup socks) see below:

I grabbed my horrible lunch and computer and rushed out the door so that my wife wouldn't be late for work, because she needs to be there earlier than me. I blasted "Ministry" to make if feel as if I was actually going faster than I actually was and got to work in time to be greeted by wayward children that needed to get out of the hallway and so used my room as some sort of educational asylum. I offered to share one of my Marmite and Finn crisp crackers with a kid and after one bite he looked like a cat that had accidentally eaten a stinging caterpillar. That was the ONE GOOD THING THAT HAPPENED ALL DAY.

After watching Wizard of Oz in my U.S. History class (it's an allegory for the Populist Movement) I waited for the imminent arrival of the FBI. (They were invited, it wasn't business.) Hilariously they couldn't find the classroom, which I would imagine is very much in the purview of the FBI. They find things. I tracked them down and brought them to class so they could tell my students about their future as FBI agents. Many appeared dubious. Then they left and I was alone with the children again. Ugh.

AICE Global Perspectives came in and did research (I guess) and then it was time for study hall. Two kids from Peer Counseling came to class and reminded the class to not use drugs. I think they are ok with the idea. I then wrote 9,000,000,000 passes to other classes and the bathroom and got scolded by some kid for not hearing him knocking on the outside door.

After that Model UN met in my room and ONCE AGAIN FAILED TO END WAR. They have one job. They were all horrified to find out that I signed the club up as North Korea for International Fest, but it was an option and I'm going to make it work.

Then I went home. Then I went back to work because I needed a document I stored on the school network and I needed to be in school for that. Now I'm here writing this and I'm about to start all over again. Also I keep meeting people in other jobs with five years or more LESS time than me on the job, retiring. I can never age, because I have a feeling I will never be able to retire. I have to crack immortality just so I can continue to break even.

So today's blog post was mostly about me. Now I'm getting ready for tomorrow which is probably going to be at least a little like today. Hopefully I will not be bitten by mystery insects which live only in my backyard and apparently nowhere else. Goodnight.