Blue Day. Formerly B Day. Day 34.

Who can tell what gravity might bring? (Besides a physicist. However there is no room for physicists here because I am emoting, and I don't want their little calculator callused fingers dipping into my blog post.) So again...Who can tell what gravity might bring? How many times must one fall before gravity breaks you, where once you just bruised?

Speaking of gravity...so I was up on my roof today after school. My wife wanted to be the one to go up there because "I'm lighter, it will be easier for me." I think she thought I would plummet my massive weight through the hurricane re-enforced roof and come out some where in the attic, and then smash through onto the dining room table. I'm flattered. But I disagreed and so I just waited until she went to the gym and climbed up there. I used a ladder. However the neighbor kids (there are many. They are legion) saw me and were fascinated.

"Hey. How'd you get up there." (They couldn't see the ladder at the back of Casa Petraitis). I told them I took the elevator because that is what my dad would have said. I refused to give them a proper answer and told them to go home and ask their parents why they didn't have a roof elevator. Then I took all of the baseballs I found, no doubt deposited there from the aforementioned children's pathetic attempt to master a sport and threw them back down, raining baseballs from twenty feet above. They were helpless. After realizing I was out of baseballs they came out of cover and asked if they could also come up on the roof, because kids are dumb like that. I told them no, however I briefly considered allowing them up the ladder and then casually just storing the ladder and going inside.

I pictured the news article. Headline: "Local Teacher Breaks." Then: "Children left crying on rooftop. Hour 4 and they are still up there because he won't tell anyone where the ladder is."

Oh, and I was up there because my HOA wanted me to reposition my vent. It was a 1,000 dollar fine because of course it was. I talked them to zero.

Also, school related I used a picture of a tortoise in my AP Government Power Point. We decided he may have been a racist tortoise. He apparently also has a scandalous social life. His name is Jonathan.