Bay Day! Awesome!

Couldn't make it. I'm so sorry. Really. I couldn't be more sorry. Even if I spent the day not doing Bay Day activities (and I really wanted to) I could not think of something more abhorrent than ignoring my mandate to press policy on you in a way that made you better.

All around.

Are you sad?

STOP BEING SAD!

Are you being bullied?

STOP BEING BULLIED!

Etc.

Since I wasn't there I will take you through my walk amongst the pop culture printed media of the Publix check out line.

Apparently this is the new dictator or perhaps Speaker of the House? I have no knowledge of this person. I yield to her authoritative posturing.

I have a life hack. Get the magazine digitally. I will say I enjoyed the "Best Cleaning Advice Ever" Apparently fire makes everything clean. And maids. Also maids. (loved the Harrison Ford center fold)

Lose two pounds a day?

For my British student this is just a suggestion to throw away money on menial things. I suggest accent correction training etc.

What if you only weigh two pound? This is terrifying.

Also, dry eyes are only dry if you are above the water. This is a simple solution that does not need an article. Live underwater. I don't know why or how I don't write these articles.

Wait. I have anxiety? Is it bad for me? Will I get over it? What if I never get over it? I had no idea this was a problem! I'm freaking out! How can I fix this without destroying the delicate fibers that hold my heart in line with my soul? Is anxiety bad for you? Oh no! I didn't even know I had anxiety and now it is all I can think of! Will I be OK? Will this define me?

I saw the suggestions on the front page. I didn't read it but I did eat a golden retriever and a few purple plants. I also ate a brain as suggested in the photo.

Is this permanent? I'm so scared! I was fine before this!