B Day Friday September 23

Freshman Study Hall: It was a difficult day to observe. I fear if I do this much longer my soul will collapse upon itself and there will only be an empty place in heaven or hell where once was meant my eternity. However I have my eternity here as I struggle to comprehend what I see and observe. Today in Freshman study hall I observed peer pressure move a child to eat a lollipop stick. Completely. After finishing this random act of recycling the entire table broke into British accents and continued the class sounding like a meeting of a very obtuse house of parliament. I assumed this would be enough until a girl broke her iPhone in half because she thought she could get the battery out. I sent her to coach Ullman for a screwdriver to try and fix what never should have happened.

U.S. History Honors: I put off writing this for a while so I will be forced to put this memorial to the last B day into the world from memory. I somewhat remember finishing a test and I handed out homework and it's due on Friday at 11:59. At 12:01 I will begin to receive emails explaining why the Universe in an act of destructive comedy has chosen them specifically to put obstacles in their path keeping them from pushing the submit button on time. Since this is from memory I will fill in the blurry half-spaces in my mind. I believe I protected the class from a marauding polar bear with just a stapler. The class cheered and most of them cried in appreciation. In honor or the polar bear I am re-starting my club for elite students called simply "Club Seals". The Canadians will appreciate it.

U.S. History Not-So-Honors: We did a review test. When it was over the class clapped and carried me over their heads in ecstatic paroxysms of awe, knowing full well that social studies is the core on which they have built their educational homes and from now on they will have a sturdy foundation to live their best lives. And that of course means lives free from slavery. Of course all of that Civil War learning works best when we make an active decision to no longer allow such things.